Kayla and Chris, when I asked how many dates it took for you to think there was something special between you, you both gave the same answer at the same time: two.
Later, Chris told me privately that he might have felt that way after the first date, except Kayla wore a big blazer, and he wasn’t sure whether the connection was going to be on Hinge or LinkedIn.
That second date, the date where they both knew, was dinner and then the Green Lady Lounge. Hours upon hours in a blink. Music, laughter, and effortless fun.
Since then, you’ve had adventures and traveled to beautiful places. You’ve also had a lot of evenings with Chris cooking dinner before you watch television. Well, with Chris watching television after Kayla falls asleep twenty minutes in. Which is just as well. One of Chris’s conditions of marriage was that Kayla needed to “watch and appreciate” the full Lord of the Rings trilogy. One of Kayla’s conditions of marriage was to always be honest. Something had to give.
What brings Kayla and Chris the most joy is gossiping about the escapades, predicaments, and ridiculousness of their friends and family. I won’t name names. They’re printed on your place cards. Thank you for your generous contributions.
In your courtship, you’ve been learning what it means to share a life. Chris, the attention and curiosity you brought to the first date still matter. Kayla, so does the laughter and joy you bring. Those ordinary ways of caring for each other brought you from two dates to this date.
Chris, after Thanksgiving in 2024, we were all ready for a proposal. When it didn’t happen, I sent Kayla a “Non Engagement” card: a woman fishing a man out of the water, with the caption “SPOILS IF YOU TAKE TOO LONG TO REEL IT IN.”
She said to keep them coming. So I did. A new card almost every day—157 in all—until you proposed in Italy at Theresa’s 50th birthday party. Along the way, you found out about the cards, which was a bit unfortunate for both of us.
You’re a good sport, a serious person, and unfortunately tall. Every family needs someone like you: someone to keep an eye on the water glasses near the edge of the table, the lids screwed on too loose, and the careless knife-handling. Chris, you’re a great match for Kayla, and an exceptionally qualified Spill Patrol Officer. Welcome to the family. You’re on duty.
In truth, Chris inspires me to be a better husband. For example, this past Monday, when Kayla wasn’t feeling well while out in San Francisco, he jumped on a plane moments later to be there, just in case. When something needs attention, he gives it. When Kayla needs him, he’s there.
And Kayla, that same trip says something about you, too. Less than a week before your wedding, you were there for your company’s customer conference because you didn’t want to let your team down.
A little coordination between those two events would have been nice. If only your Dad were running both.
Kayla, I admire the woman you are and how much you bring to the people in your life. As a daughter, you’re fun and present and sweet. You notice what people do for you, and you’re thankful. As a sister, you’re patient and generous with your help—someone the twins can look up to. At work, you’re capable, with the humility to keep learning. As a friend, you’re reliable and ready for whatever comes next. You’re a beautiful woman, caring and kind. Chris gets to share his life with that whole person.
And to Chris’s family: we’re thrilled that Kayla and Chris are bringing our families together. I’m looking forward to all we’ll get to share.
Marriage has given me more than I knew to hope for, and taught me things I could only learn by living it.
Marriage begins with faith: believing in something you cannot prove, and allowing that belief to move you to act—to freely choose another person and build a life together bigger than either of you could build alone.
Look at this day. You are surrounded by people who love you. By art, music, and beauty. Let yourselves feel how lucky you are.
And remember that your abundance does not depend on having all of this. Whatever your circumstances, you carry your faith and your capacity to love with you. You have something to believe in, and love to give.
I’ve learned that the only thing better than receiving that love is giving it. Theresa and Kayla taught me that.
Theresa, you shared Kayla with me. She was thirteen when I came into your lives, and you welcomed me into the extraordinary bond the two of you already had. You made room for me to love her as my own daughter.
And Kayla, you welcomed me, then and now. You let me love you. You changed my life. Through both of you, I came to understand how abundant God’s love is.
Chris, you are so fortunate to have found someone with that openness. And Kayla, you are so fortunate to have found someone who cares for you the way Chris does. I’m so happy you found each other. Enjoy being loved like that. Enjoy loving like that.
Kayla and Chris, we wish you children. Do not pay attention to the rumors that children are expensive. Children are your wealth. You should add to that investment regularly, rather than trying to time the market. Think of it as child-cost averaging.
I hope you get to know the joy you’ve given us.
And to everyone gathered here: I ask you to support Kayla and Chris as they build that something bigger. Stay close. Encourage them through difficult days. Share in their joy. The life they are beginning today has room for all of us.
Kayla and Chris, today, in front of the people who love you, you are choosing that life together. Marriage is a public act of faith. You believe in your life together before you have lived it. That belief allows you to begin.
You cannot know everything that comes next. You can say, “I do.”